


Inadequate

by Princex_N



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Autism, Autistic Pines Family, Brief ableist language, College, Difficult Decisions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Gen, Older Mabel Pines, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Stimming, Talking, Worry, anxiety about the future and college, good vibes, positivity, reassurance, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7854949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It's already the afternoon, but Mabel is still in bed, curled under several blankets and surrounded by their warmth and weight and softness.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Partly she doesn't want to move because she's super comfortable, mostly she doesn't want to move because today she's just tired and sad.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Mabel is feeling anxious about future decisions, Stan does his best to assuage her fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inadequate

Mabel knows that she should get up. 

She also knows that she really doesn't want to. 

It's already the afternoon, but Mabel is still in bed, curled under several blankets and surrounded by their warmth and weight and softness, packed in with several of her sweaters. 

Partly she doesn't want to move because she's super comfortable, mostly she doesn't want to move because today she's just tired and sad.

She curls tighter around the stuffed animal that she's clinging to her chest, smoothing her fingers rhythmically over the texture of its fur. 

Someone knocks on the door. 

"Hey kid, it's me." says the voice of her Grunkle Stan, "Mind if I come in?" 

She doesn't answer for a while, while she thinks it over. She presses her face into the plush, she wants him to come in even though she really doesn't want him to. Eventually, she just lets out a low groaning noise. 

He takes it as an invitation and walks in, closing the door behind him. 

She feels his weight crush down the corner of the mattress, but he's taken care to make sure that he's not touching her. 

"It's two in the afternoon, you know that right?" He asks, and Mabel grunts in reply, "It's not really like you to stay in bed so late. What's going on in there?" 

She crushes the stuffed animal to her chest, taking her time to try and fit all of the feelings and thoughts inside of her into words that she can say out loud, knowing that Stan will wait as long as it takes her because he gets that Feeling Words are hard sometimes.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she says, eventually, her voice small and muffled by the amount of fabric that she's surrounded by, but Stan hears her anyway. 

"You're lying in bed is that you're doing." Stan replies, his voice an ambiguous mix of serious of joking, like he's not sure what she means and doesn't know how to respond himself. 

"I don't mean like that Grunkle Stan," Mabel says, laughing a little. She shifts a bit so that her voice sounds clearer, but she doesn't come out from under her pile. "I mean like, with my life and stuff. Everyone keeps asking what I'm doing, where I'm going to college and what I want to major in and stuff. And Dipper already knows all that stuff, but, I don't. I don't know any of it." She pauses, rocking herself slightly from side to side. "It makes me feel like I'm kind of stupid." 

She feels the mattress jostle as Stan shifts on the bed, the movement harsh and a little angry. "Hey. Not knowing what you want to do doesn't make you stupid." He says firmly, "It just means you're thinking hard about it. You'll figure it out." 

"But what if I don't?" She cries, her hands clenching and un-clenching restlessly around fabric, "What if I never figure it out? And what if I never go to college because I never know? Or what if I do go to college but it's all a waste of money because I'm not cut out for it? Mom and Dad really want me to go, they keep talking about how they're excited for me and that they know I can do it, but what if I can't? I'm autistic, and that's not a bad thing, but I'm different and what if I can't handle it like other people can?

"And Dipper can handle it because he's super smart and he already knows what he wants to do because he's known  _forever_ ," she continues, "but we might get split up because I don't know what I want to do. Everyone keeps saying art school, and arts and crafts _are_ fun, but what if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not good enough for college and I'm not good enough to get a job with it? What am I supposed to do? I'm not ready for this, Grunkle Stan, everyone says that I should be, but I'm not. Everyone's gonna be so disappointed in me, Grunkle Stan, what if I drop out?" 

The room falls silent, and stays that way for a while, and Mabel is impatient but she knows to wait. Words are hard sometimes. Especially Feeling Words. 

"That's a lot of thoughts in that head of yours." Stan says eventually, "And look, I can't help you out much here. I can't tell you what to do, because that's a decision you have to make and it's not up to me. But Mabel, you're seventeen. Do you think that I knew what I was going to do with my life when  _I_ was seventeen? No. I really didn't. You don't  _have_ to have everything figured out. But here's the thing, maybe you go to college and you figure it out, maybe you don't go to college and you figure it out, maybe you drop out of college. That's up to you. Those are your decisions.

"But no matter what you choose, you know that we're, that  _I'm_ , going to be there for you. Even if your parents  _are_ upset, if you don't want to stay with them, you come down here. You'll always be welcome here no matter what happens, no matter what you choose. Your displays are some of the best, you bring in lots of money kid, it ain't ever gonna hurt my feelings to have you hanging around here." 

She laughs, trying not to choke on the fact that she's crying a little. 

"And hey, those people who are saying that you should know and have everything together? Fuck 'em. You've got all the time in the world, there's no need to put that kind of pressure on yourself, pumpkin." 

"But Grunkle Stan," she says, pitching her voice towards 'joke', "I love to pressure stim." 

He snorts, "That's not what I meant and you know it." He retorts, which is true. "You ready to come out of there, or are you planning on staying longer?" 

She knows that she should get up. 

She also knows that she really doesn't want to. 

But not because she's still sad, now it's  _just_ because she's comfortable. There really is nothing like the feeling of being crushed by so many soft blankets. 

"Stay," she informs Stan, who nods even though she can't see him. "But... you should stay too." She carefully extends one of her legs until her foot is pressed against his thigh, just to feel the contact. 

"I've got a lot of things to do kid, I'm a real busy man." He says, "but," he adds before Mabel can even get around to feeling disappointed, "I think I can spare a couple of minutes for my favorite niece."

She smiles, even though she knows that he can't see her. 

**Author's Note:**

> also i want to specify that mabel's comment about her being autistic comes from my own personal worries and anxieties. i'm not trying to say that like, autistic people can't make it in college or something.  
> [my tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


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